Checking doors. Locking windows. Washing hands, straightening sheets, moving back and forth over the same routine over and over and over. Such is the life of a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, affects more Americans than one might think. According to the International OCD Foundation, over 2 million adults suffer with it. And, perhaps even more surprisingly, over 500,000 children and teens have it.
While it may be harder to diagnose in children, it is there. When I was about 10 or 11, I began to be extremely paranoid about the dangers that might be out there for my family—at the time, I was the oldest of 6 children. In my mind, I could see thieves, murderers, or other scary people bursting inside of our house at night. I was certain that the only way to protect us was for me to lock and check everything all the time.
It was a split-level house, with a sliding glass door on the back. Every night, before I went to bed, I would push the lock closed, and do it again several times—just to make sure. I went through both upstairs bedrooms and locked the windows, pressing hard against the lock and also making sure they were completely closed. I did the same to the window above the kitchen sink, though I had no idea how anyone could possibly break in through there.
I would also lock the front door, if my father was in bed—if not, I’d wait until he was there, or wake up in the middle of the night to check the front door. There was the doorknob lock, the deadbolt, and an additional lock at the top to stop my baby brother from walking out. One night, I woke at about 1 am and quietly crept down the stairs to the front door to check it—my parents had left it unlocked. I remember well the sharp acceleration of my heart rate and my shaky panic as I locked all three locks, then checked them several more times. Someone could have gotten into our house! I was furious and practically flipped out on my mother the next morning, demanding to know why she didn’t check it herself. She was surprised at my vehemence and only stared at me as I ranted.
Such nightly rituals were not the only manifestation of my extreme OCD. I did the classic hand washing—over and over again, scrubbing a certain way, in order to continue touching things. Once my hands were tainted, I’d have to wash them again. Before bed (after, of course, checking all of the locks) I had to say my prayers a certain way—I was sure that if I didn’t say “please” a certain number of times in a certain way, God would not take me seriously, and something terrible would happen to me or my family.
“Think of it as a ‘brain glitch,’” writes Amy Lewinski for Psych Today, “in which the brain sends false messages—such as ‘the stove is still on,’ or ‘there are harmful germs on the telephone’ and the affected person needs to perform rituals to shut off the voice delivering the message. Because OCD is a vicious cycle, though, the voice doesn’t get shut off—it becomes louder and more insistent instead” (psychcentral.com).
For a few years, it did for me as well. Because of lack of awareness for the time, or my ability to hide it, neither of my parents noticed any of my behavior as unusual. But it was very real in my head. My thoughts and worries seemed very loud, and it was impossible to push them away.
Another article explains my own childhood feelings perfectly: “Most kids with OCD realize that they really don't have to repeat the behaviors over and over again, but the anxiety can be so great that they feel that repetition is ‘required’ to neutralize the uncomfortable feeling. And often the behavior does decrease the anxiety — but only temporarily. In the long run, the rituals may worsen OCD severity and prompt the obsessions to return” (kidshealth.org). It is a sad cycle that is almost impossible to eradicate without professional help.
My own OCD went away after a few years, but then returned again so strongly after the birth of my first child. Now, my own fears collided with those of a new mother and I felt myself slowly going crazy. I slept with a light on all night, in order to check her breathing, and then wondered why none of us got any sleep.
I eventually sought professional help, and would encourage anyone with a child that’s struggling to do the same. Cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as anti-depressants (usually for adults) can help break the compulsive cycles and calm their fears.
But how will you know if your child has OCD? There are several things to look for:
- Repetitive actions
This includes compulsive hand washing, constant checking on switches, locks, and loved ones—anything that they think will help protect everyone from danger - Spiritual or Religious Fear
They feel as though they must do everything right, in the right order, in order to prevent divine displeasure. - Hoarding
They carry an unnecessary fear that they must hold on to things—even useless things—“just in case.” They are certain they will regret it later. - Counting and Arranging
The child will arrange things in a certain order, all the time, make sure blankets and other things are straight, and even insist on wearing things like socks in a precise manner. It isn’t just a matter of preference, but a matter of abject need.
If any of these symptoms present themselves, it is best to take your son or daughter to the family doctor. Then a more positive diagnoses can be made, and help procured. If treated now, you could save your child years of worry and unnecessary stress, and help them enjoy being a child, instead of the little worrier.